Thursday, 26 February 2009

Looking in vain

I have browsed through pages and pages of houses for sale and not one matched up to the one I already have. There was one I liked... detached, Cotswold stone, village location, conservatory, large garden, three bedrooms etc., if only I had three quarters of a million pound! Oxfordshire and even the edge of the Cotswolds is far too pricey!

Funnily enough, the neighbours have suddenly become very quiet... perhaps they've realised at last that I am probably the best neighbour they've ever had... I don't mean to sound conceited, but I never complain, and when the subject of banging doors was brought up by my neighbour some months' ago, I didn't get arsey, but just smiled and agreed that they could be noisy at times, which was accepted with smiles and an apology. I may have to wait a while before moving, but I have decided that move I shall - one day! Meanwhile I shall keep looking for the ideal home for me and my cats.

I'm very restless at the moment and getting despondent that this is going to be another year the same as the last three! Jobless and lost. With no obvious purpose to my life, just a few pleasant hobbies and a few new female acquaintances. It's as if I'm waiting for something to happen. Maybe this is yet another stage in the long road of grief... being lost, as well as alone. Wanting to move on and do something with my life, but despite trying different avenues, getting nowhere. So, I shall decorate the spare bedroom... at least I'll be doing something!

5 comments:

Annette said...

Oxford is a very expensive place to live.
But I hope you find the place your looking for.
All the best.

powdergirl said...

Its lovely, the way you've caught the light coming through the trees, very beautiful.

Good luck house hunting and decorating.

Puddock said...

It must be a widow stage thing because I could be saying what you wrote. I feel like an inbetweeny - getting used to living alone, getting used to the Golfer being part of the past, but without a clear idea of my future.

Maybe we are both on the threshold of something new and wonderful. More likely though, at least in my case, it will be more baby steps - baby step after baby step along this new path. Mind you, when I look back, I've come quite a long way already, and I know you have too.

Kippers Dickie said...

Hi Jenny,
I found your blog after searching for people interested in music..proper music. I think I clicked on Boccherini....However your last paragraph...
"I'm very restless at the moment and getting despondent that this is going to be another year the same as the last three!" etc..
I just felt as if I'd written it.
I live alone in a large 3bed bung., and it's far too big. Takes a lot of upkeep and I need to "downsize".
Oh yes...back to Boccherini. I have just arranged his Minuet Op.13 No5 for my 26note Organ (Paper-roll-mechanical type)..
.."Meanwhile I shall keep looking for the ideal home for me and my cats."
You see, you're not alone really.
Regards Bernard

JennyB said...

Thank you all for your positive comments... yes, Oxfordshire is expensive and there's not much for sale at the moment, and the long road of widowed grief just keeps rolling along and disappearing among some far off distant hills with no sign of coming to an end. As for Boccherini... I love his music and I'm impressed Bernard that you have arranged one of his works for your organ.

Keep going Puddock... we seem to be in tandem with our stages and yes, we've come along way down the road... perhaps there's a great Diner ahead waiting for us both!