Ducks

Green Gym Day... pulling logs and branches and a pair of knickers out of the stream in Chipping Norton. Started well, but the rain stopped play and we all had to pack up and leave just after half-way. Good group of people today, good sense of humour despite the downpour, but not a duck in sight.

I've always liked ducks and if I didn't live in a new-build with a million covenants on the house banning me from just about everything, I would have a large pond and several ducks.

I can't even light a small bonfire... I live out in the country for goodness sake!

Anyway, went to the real Gym this evening and painted the porch. If only my keyboard didn't keep seizing up I could write some more of my novel

Writing a Novel is like doing a Jig-saw puzzle

I have moments where I can't get the words out fast enough; other moments are just like trying to find a missing piece of the puzzle. Then I close down the computer and do something else. By the next day, the blockage has cleared and I'm away again. I have a plan or a loose structure of how the novel is going to progress and end and am putting in all the dialogue and detail, trying hard to be discerning in how much to give to the reader, and how much to allow the reader to imagine themselves. I read and re-read to look upon my words as if I had just purchased the book and whether or not it 'hooked me'. It may be some time before I have something anywhere near readable. It may, and probably will be, unsuccessful, but the process is good and I enjoy it, especially when I'm on a roll. Just like a Jig-saw puzzle, the pieces seem not to belong anywhere, then all of a sudden a piece will slot in where you least expected it to. I am realistic enough to know that to get published is nigh on impossible, but if I don't try, I will always regret it. I have wanted to write since childhood, and used to tell my friends adventure stories, all completely made up and off the cuff. I have started several novels, but life got in the way. Now, having survived as best as possible the most awful of life's experiences, I feel I am now more qualified to write about people, emotions and intrique, than ever before.

I just hope that I get all the pieces in all the right places.

Marital relations

Okay... I didn't intend to write yet another blog post on the same day, but, having sat myself down to write another chapter for my novel (please don't laugh), I wanted to add a few words to my online diary.

The bonsai tree is quite something to behold... perfect in formation and beauty; clipped with loving care to conform to a human being's vision of miniature perfection.

It has come to my notice that many married couples are not as happy as perhaps they should be. Since my lovely man left me for another place, I watch other couples with interest... sometimes smiling at the obvious love there is between two people; often, I am dismayed at the arguing and resignation of a situation that is not ideal. Why, in a lifetime that is so short, do people put up with imperfect lives, when it is in their power to change their lives? Yes, I know that my life may not seem perfect in many people's eyes, but, I do not have to put up with sarcasm, indifference, or bullying, all of which I have witnessed over the last couple of years among people I know and those I don't whom I've observed. Then again, perhaps those people who are being used, abused, bullied and taken for granted are, quite happy in their situation. Perhaps, we all receive what we subconsciously send signals out for? Or, perhaps some of us are just resigned to our 'lot' and the idea of changing anything is just too much to contemplate.

I had twenty-four years of being in an unhappy relationship, but stayed because of my children, and because, I had no income or means to support myself if I left. Once I gained a good job and my children had all left home, except for one, I met someone who was the catalyst for my leaving the prison of any existence. What has come to my notice is that there are so many more people in the same situation. If, I had just lived with my first husband, rather than marry him, I would not have been trapped for 24 years; I would have left him within the year. So, thankfully the world has moved on and people no longer feel they have to get married in order to co-habit. So much better than in my day.

I just had to say all this before I get back to my novel and the heroine in question. Thank you for indulging me.

Not so grim oop north!

The Harlow Carr Flower Show was a welcome change from all the rain and waiting for warmer Spring weather. I stayed with my good and faithful friends in Spofforth, Yorkshire and we spent Friday browsing amongst the crowds; gazing at amazing and artistic displays of plants and flowers forced into bloom for the occasion; bumping into Yorkshire Folk and sampling some Pork Pies.

I didn't intend to spend much, but came away with a 'distressed' wooden wall cabinet, a wooden pot holder and some scented broomsticks. Don't ask me why... it seemed a good idea at the time.

I managed to keep to the speed limit there and back to Yorkshire and still only took three hours and ten minutes, hence the need not to speed, (she says piously, pre the speed awareness course looming). Cats were fine this time... no hounding out of their den by the neighbours who have learnt from the previous experience, and for which I'm very grateful. Arrived home to discover that my daughter and grandsons actually saw me on the news last Wednesday night, sawing away at a branch for the 'Green Gym'. My Grandson was also on the news as part of an item regarding his school, making it a family newsnight.

It's so good to go away, especially to stay with friends with no hidden agendas where I can be myself, warts and all. It's so good to talk to people... I forget what an isolated life I tend to lead and must remember not to speak to people in the same tone that I speak to my cats.