Sunday, 13 April 2008
Post Script to A Moment in Time
My much earlier post spoke of the death of my paternal grandmother and the affect on her grieving husband and my father - her seven year old son. My father found it very difficult to speak of his mother and it was only years' later, when I was a teenager and my father had suffered and survived a heart attack that he spoke of her and of the time when his father nearly put an end to both their lives after she'd died, from what I understand was cancer of the womb. Her name was Maud, and my father said that he believed my grandfather loved her deeply. It's only now that I can fully appreciate what it is to lose the one person you deeply love. After 24 years of being married to someone I didn't love, then to find a man whom I adored and loved more than anyone or anything else in the world, I am there in my grandfather's shoes, feeling as he did, hurting as he did and understanding why he nearly put an end to his own life and that of his young son.
If, and it's a big IF... there is life after death, then my grandfather is now reunited with Maud and my father is now reunited with my mother. My father never felt animosity towards his father for what nearly happened, he always said, that if it was his fate to die that day then he accepted it. He trusted his father and respected him. He also said that even though he was only seven years old, he understood his father's grief, because it was his own grief too. Quite something for a seven-year old! But then, my father was special.
One day I might be with my lovely man again... when - I don't know.