Friday, 26 September 2008

Smelling of Roses

Well, I'm so disillusioned, disappointed and in despair. I and a co-leader were aggressively bullied and because those in authority have not contacted me since I sent my report and complaint over a week ago, I phoned to ask why. The response was beyond my belief.

Perhaps I should have just 'decked' the person concerned because remaining calm during a crisis was obviously where I went wrong.

I am distraught and feel as though I've been through it all over again. There were sixteen witnesses to the event, for goodness sake! I have been kept in the dark for ten days with no response.

Why do some people always come up smelling of roses no matter what they do? My faith in human beings has reached an all-time low. I have been set back months and feel as I did after losing my lovely man - just when I had regained a reason to live again.

It's the injustice of it all that gets me. I can't and won't tell lies.


Puddock said...

Jenny - I don't know what to say. People can be scum, and it's always the nice people who suffer.

I'm guessing that this happened at the Green Gym. This is one of the reasons I don't join anything like that. Organisations are cowardly, and will always take the line of least resistance, and when it comes down to it they don't care about the little guy (or gal). And there are so many angry people out there - I'd feel sorry for them if I wasn't concentrating on avoiding them.

It's so unfair that you should be suffering. You've worked so hard not just to build a new life for yourself, but to help other people too, and you don't deserve this kind of thing.

We have to take such care of ourselves now that we're on our own. I find myself having to explain to 'normal' people sometimes why I am doing one particular thing and not another - that it's a case of weighing up the risks and rewards, and sometimes the risks are just too great, even though to a 'norm' the risks look trivial. You feel such a fool, and a coward, but you still have to do what is right for you. I don't have any support system so if I fall on my face there is NO-ONE to pick me up - people just don't seem to understand that. It's like rich people who don't understand that there are people out there who don't have money in the bank - it's just completely outside their experience and comprehension.

You should feel very proud of yourself at what you have achieved in the last three years and not let one stupid prat put you off or get you down. What does your co-leader say? Can you talk it through with her?

Don't let them grind you down. You never know what joy might be round the next corner.

Big hugs from Inverness,


Nicola said...

Take care of yourself, whatever the situation was, standing up for yourself and maintaining your integrity is better than anything, especially under pressure. I hope things will get better for you - you seem like a very tough lady and your blog cheers me up whenever I read it,
Best wishes