Wednesday, 9 April 2008

The path is barely visible

I arrived exactly at the designated time; there were only one or two shoppers among the jars and bottles at the entrance to the garden centre cafe. Then I saw a man scrutinising the expensive wines. Yes, he was wearing the short overcoat and dark trousers as stated in his email. However, the 'six foot one figure' turned out to be my height and looked older than his photo. He saw me and called out my name. I smiled politely as he approached, knowing this was definitely not going to develop into anything.

We sat at a remote table for two with our coffee and for an hour and a half I listened. He is still very much suffering in his grief, and stated that he wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone else. So, at the end I asked if being on the dating website was a good idea. "Oh Yes", said he, "I enjoy the company of women, and I enjoy talking to them." As a woman, and not a bad looking woman for my age, I'd really like a man to show interest in me. Unfortunately I knew what this man was going through, and he was very much deep in painful grief, therefore the meeting was fairly predictable.

We shook hands when I said I really needed to get back. I went home and erected a willow fence... much better than meeting strangers in a cafe!


Puddock said...

Well done for trying anyway Jenny!

It's like being sixteen again isn't it? Except all the good guys are taken...

sctshep said...

Hi Jenny
I've been reading some of your posts and I truly do admire your courage and good soul while at the same time can see the struggle you are going through. I noticed that in your last four posts you predicted before the first day on the job and the meeting with the gentleman that they probably would come to nothing. You happened to be right and your instincts are good but you have to be careful that you just don't predict everything to go that way.

I have worked for years with people who have lost loved ones or who are going through serious illnesses on their own. I have learned a great deal from them even as I think I have helped them. If you get a chance go to my website On the right hand side you will see a book called Choosing the Gift - dealing with the loss of a loved one. (Trust me I am not!!! trying to sell you a book.) Just click on it and when it goes to the next page go down the page and you will see a place to click multi-media presentation.You will see the book with music behind it (Bach) You might find it helpful. Also if you click on the blue book on stress you can read a few excerpts. If I do say so myself it is a pretty good book on how to not get overwhelmed by things - even the death of a loved one.

If you click on the multi-media tab on the home page you will see some songs you can click on that I wrote. "Soaring" "The Answer in my soul" "Celebrate Another Day" "Whining Our Lunch Away." I still worry that I look like I'm just hustling here. I'm not. I have tried to live to be of use to people. These materials I think are.

Like your friend Puddock,I am not a religious person especially in the traditional sense,- a god who does miracles or screws over people - but I do believe in mystery.Quantum Physics shows me that even in the physical world there are things that don't make any sense. So who knows. Maybe someone in St.Louis wishing you well can have an impact - sort of like whales communicating over immense distances. Anyways my best to you.

JennyB said...

Puddock ... where are all the good guys? You know, the normal, humourous, not-bad-looking ones who are not full of their own self-importance, who haven't got bad teeth, a huge paunch, bad breath, in-growing toenails, flatulence and a need for a nap every two hours? Where are the lovely guys who still have a love of life and pride in themselves as well as an appreciation of women?

Can anyone reply?

Puddock said...

They must be down there cos they ain't up here!

The trouble is, I guess, that they don't (and neither do we) go around with a big badge saying available - it'd make things simpler if they did.

I'm beginning to wonder if speed-dating is the way to go, not that there's any of that up here. At least you get to work your way through twenty blokes at a time, all the quicker to get to someone you find vaguely attractive.

Mind you, I sometimes wonder if I would come up to a bloke's high standards - too short, refuse to dye my hair, never wear a skirt, never mind high heels - maybe I'm not that great a catch in their eyes either...

So it's a case now of not only finding someone who is okay to look at, with a spark of intelligence and who doesn't want a housekeeper, but who also doesn't mind my foibles - some chance!