Tuesday, 18 March 2008

Gateway or Dead End?

Is Destiny playing me for a fool once again? I was so looking forward to being a costumed tour guide for Oxford Castle after corresponding with someone as per job instructions only to have been ignored with no response to my job application.

Then I thought I'd answer job applications for part-time work in garden centres, only to have letters or phone calls to say the post had been taken... despite never being called for an interview.

I am registered with various teaching organisations and have been told my details are logged in case something comes up... ummm don't think so.

My business I want to start is on hold due to my little investments disappearing under the stock market crisis. Even Sainsbury's don't have any vacancies at the moment.

Meanwhile, like everyone else, my bills have increased and income decreased. So, is destiny telling me to take another path? Is the old creaking gate open for me to find something else to do? And just when I thought I was becoming totally invisible in this society, my daughter rings asking me to help her out after eye laser surgery, while another daughter wants to include me in her wedding plans. Pebble and Banjo don't seem to fight anymore, just when I was about to rename them 'Hiss and Spit'. They have become very affectionate towards me... do they know something I don't?

Tomorrow I help out at the local 'Green Gym'; volunteering my gardening skills for a pruning project. And tomorrow I pursue my enquiries into retraining as a Hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner... is this going to be the path? Or, is it yet another dead end with a half open gate teasing me through before slamming firmly shut in my face?


Smartiplants said...

It is hard to know how things will go. Two years ago I started a business. Put a lot of money into it at start up only to find out 2 months later my mom had leukemia. I spent 1 1/2 years helping to take care of her. She passed away in September and now I am trying to adjust to grief, a change in schedule, pick up the pieces with my business, help husband remodel a rent house we own, help son remodel his house, and look for a job, because our bills have increased also. I spent a lot of time agonizing about all the stressful things going on until I started both praying about it and just doing something, whether what I am doing is right or wrong, at least I am back in motion again and no longer paralyzed by stress. I think some doors do close for us and we never know why and then other doors open. I hope and pray all the right doors open for you.

sctshep said...

It might not be the path but it will be a path. It only is a dead end if you make it one. I believe those words but I know it's hard to buy into when it isn't going well. Don't just let yourself fall into waiting for the door to close. Keep your eye sharp on the road. You might discover something totally unexpected

Puddock said...

Hi Jenny

It is so difficult, trying to find a new path, a new role. I'm in the same boat - too young to be retired, but a lifetime spent on a path that has been closed off now.

I know exactly what I really want to do - be a writer - but, even assuming I had the talent, I worry that I'll go bonkers if I spend long days at home alone, writing. And there's only so long that you can sit in a cafe in a day.

What would be the best thing (and we really should see if we can organise it!) is to be a successful and universally adored writer, with a young male acolyte at your side, whose only desire is to make your life easier in every way. Sigh. Maybe we should advertise??