I never knew just how long the road is to happiness! I'd be happy to know that my road led somewhere, or at least, hoped it would be as entertaining as the roads that Bob Hope, Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour took, all those years ago. Me? Haven't a bloody clue!Today I went off in my car to Hughenden Manor just north of High Wycombe... the house of former Prime Minister, Benjamin D'israeli. I did the House tour... all one hour and a half of it... and learnt new things about this special man, all of which surprised me. He was a poor man's hero who had to endure endless taunts about his judaisism. Nevertheless, he was adored by Queen Victoria who visited his home two days after his funeral and insisted that a bouquet of china primroses was entombed with him.
I had thought to venture out to Oxford tonight... to buy a ticket to hear the 19 piece band, Blakes Heaven, at Oxford Castle. I phoned my daughter to see if she wanted to go, but she had had a hectic day at work and declined. Instead, I sat and watched a DVD... as usual, thinking that my life had come to a juddering halt. How I miss going out with someone close. I miss evening walks, talks and outings to Pubs; I miss talking to someone, linking my arm with someone and sharing a joke with someone. I think my life is on hold, paused, waiting for something... better to think that than be a complete pessimist and think that my life is over.
My horoscope says I am on the brink of a new life... all I can say is that it's a bloody big, long and wide brink!
Perhaps tomorrow will bring something new...
5 comments:
Hi Jenny,
Glad you enjoyed your day at
Hughenden Manor. It's just down the road from here. I've been many times but have yet to see inside the walled garden which I believe is now open.
Did you notice? and is there anything to see inside?
Cheers......Bernard
I recognise everything you are saying, as usual. I am sure this frustration is a sign that we are getting 'better' though - just like a wound that gets really itchy just before it heals.
And just think what you have achieved in the last six months. I bet you are doing things you didn't think you'd ever manage. And the next six months will be the same, and the next, and the next. And maybe there is a friendly arm to take, just round the corner - we can (and must!) live in hope.
Jenny,
Back on the subject of feeding baby birds, a friend I follow, who breeds pigeons, bantams, chickens etc. has just popped up a post on how to look after deserted chicks. Worth a look maybe?
http://jancblawat.blogspot.com/2009/07/feeding-baby-birds.html
Cheers.....Bernard
Jenny,
Looking at the long winding road I felt I was in the car with you taking in the clean crisp air and calming country views. Ahhhhh.
Your sage words and lovely watercolors are always touching, inspiring and revealing. And as you mentioned - cahartic.
I understand the word "halt" too well which touched me deeply.
Glad you're moving forward, whether it be in your car, the Mayor's chair or answering endless personal personnel questions.
Be Well,
Abie
Lovely post about D'israeli. I had enjoyed learning about him in history so this bit about his house was delightful.
Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com/
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