Why do I feel under pressure to get a job or do something worthwhile? No matter how many job agencies or college registers I sign up to and no matter how hard I try to apply for jobs in the local paper... nothing materialises! Do I trust in Fate? Is something waiting for me that I've yet to discover or stumble upon? It seems that I've been asking myself the same old questions for over a year now. But if I analyse how I am currently feeling and thinking compared to two years' ago, I now know that I've needed this solitary confinement and retreat in order to come to terms with losing my lovely man and to get myself in a place whereby I can operate on all four cylinders again.
I've known others who have jumped into a relationship with the first person to offer a shoulder to cry on; I've known others to jump from one unsatisfactory situation to another... I'm not a jumper, more a cautious plodder. However, I think that the time is almost here for me to jump into something... probably the proverbial s*** heap!!
I'm looking for some divine inspiration to point me in the right direction... an island of opportunity; a step into a future of substance... I've had enough of being all at sea... time to do something...??? Any clues... anyone??
3 comments:
The survivors of a sinking ship took to the lifeboat, but it had a leak. Having watched the ship sink, the survivors demanded that a course be set for the nearest landfall and the sail set. The wise crewman said, "We aren't going anywhere until we fix that bloody leak".
Well it sounds like although you're still in the lifeboat, you've fixed the leak and set the sail. I can see you at the helm :))
Jenny, as usual we seem to be on exactly the same course (to follow Hogday's metaphor) or just about.
I felt EXACTLY like you a few months ago - desperate to do new things - itching to get on with it - but not sure what 'it' was. Now I've applied to go back to Uni and feel content and excited about the future (assuming I get in!). My life at the moment is still pretty rubbish but I have the hope now that it will change soon.
You WILL find your way too. You have done such a lot in the last year - tried new things, allowed yourself to be open to change. Something will click with you, I'm sure.
If it's any help, I tried all my old fantasy careers before I settled on Uni and none of them felt right now. Maybe you'll do something completely new too.
I am really enjoying art and design... far more than any corporate office job. I've always enjoyed teaching... perhaps if I get good at watercolour painting and manage to sell a few, thus putting me in the 'professional' category, then I could also teach again part time... the best of both worlds???
Or, perhaps destiny has other ideas!
Many thanks Puddock and Hogday... you keep me inspired and motivated.
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