Soaring cost of living

I've been growing a Lemon bush for two years; from a tiny little shoot in a cardboard box from Wilkinsons at about £2.50. I didn't give it much hope but against all odds it now has seven lemons that will hopefully ripen this summer so that I can contribute to self-sufficiency and my Gin and Tonic.

My runner beans have stopped growing, as have my peas and sweet peas; climate not to their liking I suppose... nor mine. Midsummer has arrived and we are now on the downward slope to shorter days. I'm determined not to be down hearted - yet! There may still be some warm sunny weather to come - she says optimistically. I tried to be optimistic last year, and by Autumn decided not to bother with loads of veg and flowers next time... but, as always the gardener in me took over.

A visit to my Financial Adviser proved that my investments are dwindling to almost danger level and we've decided, (she advises), to wait another few weeks to see how the market progresses, or not. She asked how I was 'doing'. I truthfully replied that I was really doing well now and hadn't cried in weeks and was happier and healthier. I did admit that I miss having a man around and that I'd tried Internet Dating briefly and didn't like it. Not that I miss washing socks and ironing shirts, nor snoring or football, but I miss the comforting arm and shoulder to lean on; the cuddles and laughter, and of course, the intimacy of a loving relationship... to which she advised I buy a 'thing' with batteries. I laughed nervously. How could 'it' ever replace a loving relationship? Then I thought that if nothing else, it could be used for mixing Gin and Tonics.